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My Day in 2011 as Gin Wigmore

Posted by Sanjay Patel On the 21st March 2012 Back


I've always liked the movie Big and wondered what it would be like to be someone else for a day.  With that in mind, here is my account of what it would to be like to be the recording artist Gin Wigmore. But unlike Big, I'm not a small boy, well originally I was, and I turn into in Gin Wigmore, who is nothing like Tom Hanks. It's relevant because she made a comeback in 2011.
Midnight: Turn into Gin Wigmore, want to sleep in but not too much as I don't want to miss out on a Burger King Breakfast.
9am: Don't want to be recognised by fans as I make my way to BK so I wear a Groucho Marx disguise and only respond to the name Brandy Toupeelots.
11am: Call music award committee about the validity of Ladyhawke winning awards. I plead my case that female avian creatures should be banned from winning NZ music awards, they stress she's not actually a hawk but a human recording artist who goes by that alias.
1pm: Go into a tattoo parlour to get some more tattoos done, as I clearly don't have enough.
3pm: Give Usher a call to say his song OMG has almost the same title as my song Oh My. He responds he doesn't know who I am and any title similarity is coincidental. He hangs up. I ring again, reach voicemail and state if he doesn't give me royalties from his single, I'll send Ladyhawke over to peck at him. After I leave the message I remember that Ladyhawke isn't actually a hawk and she wouldn't put her mouth near a man anyway.
5pm: Call up my actress sister Lucy and ask her how Shortland Street’s going. She replies saying she left that show long ago. I mention that I was probably too busy selling records and making more money than her to notice. She hangs up. I phone again to get her voicemail and leave a few messages reminding her about how I sell heaps of records and make way more money than her.
7pm: Start composing new songs, these tattoos don't pay for themselves.
11pm: Realise that I'll revert back to my real-self so spend the last hour exploring Gin's body in real detail.
P.S. there is no mention of Gin Wigmore in my show at all.

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