FROM THE DESK OF...
From The Desk of Joseph Moore
Posted by Jospeh Moore On the 13th May 2013
I’m newish comedian Joseph Moore and welcome to “From the Desk of Joseph Moore”. Sorry about all the dust on my horrible brown desk (it’s 2013, who uses desks anymore?) I’ve just come back from a month at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with FanFiction Comedy. That went bloody great, and I can’t wait to it again here as well as my very own solo show! Shit I’m prolific.
Here are some interesting observations about my time in Australia!
- In Australia they have really good public transport. And by “good” I mean, it is really easy to use for free. You just get on a tram and sit on a seat and no one ever checks if you paid. I think Auckland’s struggling train system should look into adopting something like this if they want people to use it.
- In Melbourne they like a sport called “AFL”. It is a terrible sport. A lady in the AFL shop told me the best team was Collingwood and the worst was Carlton. She then told me a popular saying “ABC – Anything But Carlton.” I was going to tell her it could very easily be re-appropriated to “ABC – Anything But Collingwood.” But she seemed very attached to and proud of this acronym and I didn’t want to fuck her shit up too much.
- The Australia/New Zealand rivalry only goes one way, you guys! I was all like “How dare you guys steal Crowded House and Phar Lap?!?!” And they were like “Have them! We don’t even want them anymore! Take back Kimbra too. You can even have Gotye!” I don’t think most of them have even heard of us. Their main rival is The Moon.
Anyway, I hope you get along to some stuff in the Comedy Festival. My show DOPE ASS JOKES would be a good start for you. It’s nominated for the 2013 Billy T Award and it’s mainly about rap music and snack foods (example joke: “Why is the rap industry like a Le Snak? It’s only got three crackers in it” (this joke may or may not appear in the show, I just came up with it then)).
There are also other things you should see. All the other Billy T nominees will definitely be excellent (Rose, Eli, Pax and Tom!). You should also see some old-person-comedians (old = over 29), but they don’t need your money as much.