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FROM THE DESK OF...

From the Desk of Terry Williams

Posted by Terry Williams On the 1st May 2013 Back My show was, in part, inspired by a book I read last Christmas called 'Blue Zones - Lessons For Living Longer From Those Who've Lived The Longest.' Scientists studied those places where people lived disproportionately long and quality lives. Hit a library. Check it out. It's not all monastic lifestyles, not by a long way. Friends, wine, laughter, oats and get off your arse. There's an online quizzy thing where you tell as much truth as you can and it estimates how long you'll live, gives you some advice, and how long you might add if you take their advice. You do the maths and you decide if it's worth it.

Invest in an hour of my comedy & learn how to add ten years to your life. It’s comedy for people into wellness, healthier choices & not dying. Get your ‘Get-out-of-death free’ card. (For a limited time only.) And there’s a chance to win a champagne-like substance called Sparkling Cuvée Brut. (Don’t tell the French judiciary.) I can assure you that one of the secrets of those long-living people is the regular and judicious consumption of alcohol – in moderation, with friends and socially prepped food. If you’re drinking lots by yourself then maybe the alcohol isn’t the problem and definitely you could do with a night out at the comedy? You could always go home alone with the champagne and drink alone afterwards.
 
I’m not saying you should conform. My philosophy is highlighted in the following public policy suggestion. City councils put footpaths in parks and signs that say ‘do not walk on the grass’. I say create a park with no footpaths. Wait til you see trampled grass where people are actually walking. That’s where you put the footpaths. That’s supply and demand baby. When it comes to comedy, I’m trampling my own grass. You can follow me, stick to the path or go climb a tree. I’m kind of stretching the metaphor now. As I always say, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it change its spots.”
 
In researching the show, I attended several hospital emergency departments. I saw some sights - from seeing a doctor with a YOLO tee-shirt to hearing the case for greater government subsidies for publically distributed defibrillators. (One chap thought there should be one every 20 metres at public places like libraries and airports to help prevent death by heart attacks. I agree to a point – if you see someone about to eat a pie, run up behind them and hit them in the head with the defibrillator and shout, “Don’t eat that pie!” That will help prevent death by heart attacks. I realise now that any humour in that last bit is utterly reliant on you knowing what a defibrillator is. If you don’t, then probably my comedy won’t be for you. Stick to the pies. The pies will definitely be sticking to you. Artery-wise that is.)
 
Other than performing comedy and writing books, I also had a bit part in a movie that went straight to DVD. It did very badly at video stores. You might’ve heard of it? It was called, ‘Sorry I’m Out.’
 
Peace out. Work hard. Stay strong. Look up. Regret nothing. Shake well. Rinse repeat.

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